The Wild Ox paws the tablecloth
into an accordion of folds,
nostrils flared, spittle spurting,
horns forked forwards
towards the fiend
across the dais.
The Leviathan, pariah of the sea,
files its spike-armored fins
against a wine chalice rim,
whips it tail, trident poised,
scales bristled, brine-dripped:
The crucible of nemesis.
Each surveys the terrain:
A furnace of hasidim, searing up in song,
buffets flowing with unleavened bread, wine,
desire for the divine.
Sons sway on caftaned shoulders,
boys bounce on garteled laps,
slipping sheets of bread, sips of wine,
whenever their father’s eyes
beseech the ceiling.
Foes lock eyes,
men lock arms,
children lick their lips,
and the eighth day’s battle inflicts‒
The beast bounds forth, pouncing past
springing sidelocks, swinging hands;
the serpent slithers swift, weaving betwixt
sticky fingertips and goblets of wine.
Twilight unfurls the moon,
the final feast unleashed, song-sheathed,
the tremors of ritual tassels thrum:
“Next year in Jerusalem!”
Dreamers; oblivious to the carnage
rampaging above their skullcaps.
As horns batter fangs, fins pierce hooves‒
Sea and land collide,
father and son in stride,
song and bread entwine,
all in service of the divine.
For each eruption of blood and bone,
the rivals ascend, charioted by human chants,
a blazing helix, incandescently white,
until it explodes in mosaics of light.
One little boy, blessed with this sight,
sips from his smuggled wine and wonders,
why the two creatures, now glittering
atoms above his head, did not, simply,
Passover each other.
--Based on a passage in the Talmud, Tractate Bava Batra 75a-b
I find it fascinating how you are here beginning to fuse the more lyrical side of your work, which I have associated with ML, with a more purposeful and content-driven approach, which I associate more with you as an individual. In general, I think this is probably just what you should be doing right now.
ReplyDeleteThis is a visionary religious poems that brings to life a scene that will be esoteric to some but nonetheless striking and mysterious, with or without access to the Hasidic dimension to the poem.
Some of the specificity here puzzles me more than others (ex: why "illegal" wine). Other imagery is more mysterious than puzzling. This imagery, pleasing and seductive, draws me into the poem, because it feels in the service of a grand plan, a visionary message.
The parts that feel "undecoded" are perhaps less pleasing, because they feel more like an obstacle than a mystery. (Another ex: "tetradic tassels"). Why point out that they are tetradic?
I could (and will) spend considerable time analyzing just the sounds here. Hopefully we can do this in class tomorrow.
This is an impressive and vivid poem. I admire your confidence and boldness in this one. Good stuff.
The music of this poem make the messianic vision depicted here really exciting, because it reads as a psalm or liturgical poem.
ReplyDeleteThe alliteration, consonance, assonance, and slant rhyme swimming through the poem are foreshadowed in the title alone: "The Final Feast"
In stanza 1, "an accordion of folds" has some nice assonance and feels good on the tongue and to the ear, as does "horns forked forwards." That "forked forward" is nice next to "spittle spurting" and "fanged fiend"
In stanza 2, "Leviathan" seems almost a slant rhyme with "pariah" and that makes the description of the Leviathan that much more convincing, since their sounds link in my mind. The second, third, fourth, and fifth line of that stanza intriguingly all share one word whose vowel sound stands out next to its surrounding words: "spike" "wine" "trident" "brine". All those words bring me back to the "Leviathan" and "pariah" of the opening line of the stanza. Not sure if that was intentional, but it's cool :)
In the third and fourth stanzas, the observations are astute, as if painted with a fine brush. I like all of the senses they appeal too: "searing up in song" "buffets flowing with unleavened bread, wine" -- I was particularly taken by the "sons sway on caftaned shoulders, boys bounce on gartled laps"... what a smart way to convey that kind of joy and childlike satisfaction. Also "their father's eyes beseech the ceiling" is a particularly effective way to say prayer.
The end rhymes in stanza 6 are a great way to build momentum "collide" "in stride" "entwine" "divine"
And the ending is really intruiging in how it boils this enourmous scene of divine ecstasy meets bloody final battle to "one little boy, blessed with this sight"
I do wonder about the closing thought: why does the child wonder why they did not simply "pass over each other"? I feel like I missed something there.
But the last two lines together close this technically complex and impressive poem perfectly with the play on words and connection of the future Messiah with the imagery of the eve of Passover.
Again, the most striking part about this poem is the diction and the musical quality the sounds make. I am thankful for the facts that, beneath all of the heavy description and crazy alliteration (" tremors of tetradic tassels"!!!!) I can make out a story. A religious scene that I can relate to! Your vocabulary is astoundingly colorful, and never ceases to amaze me.
ReplyDeleteA suggestion, perhaps begin your poem in the narrative instead of description. I found myself getting lost in the verbiage too quickly.
Although it took me a moment to understand what was going on, once you mentioned the Leviathan I was immediately impressed with your choice of subject. You managed to cover an "end of days" theme with none of the macabre and all of the joy associated with this particular madras, maintains gravity and being true to the tone of the source.
ReplyDeleteThe poem is astoundingly visual- there is SO much show-don't-tell, so much imagery. And not just that- the internal and end-rhyme musicality of this piece honestly makes it a symphony of sound. I do caution that at times the density of the musicality may leave the reader 'out of breath' for a lack of Better phrase- there are certain points where it could be thinned out to allow the reader to gain more on the first read.
That being said, your word selection was unique and fascinating- not words one would think to use, but once used immediately conjure the scene you intend.
I found the ending a bit incongruous- it was so rich and sophisticated that the end seems a little more of the childish sound by comparison. I'd love to see you keep the wordplay but keep the unconventional sound of the rest of the poem. Fantastic work!
Updated on 4/11/18.
ReplyDeleteCommented in class- amazing job as usual!
ReplyDeleteThough we discussed this poem in class, I would like to add a few comments here as well--mostly on specific lines.
ReplyDeleteI liked the line "accordion of folds."
I see you got rid of "fanged" fiend--but the word "fiend" stills feel out of place here.
I liked the lines "searing up in song," the phrase "sheets of bread" for matzah. Also "Foes lock eyes/Men lock arms."
I'm not sure about the word choice "inflicts" in "battle inflicts"--the slant rhyme with the previous line end is nice, but the meaning doesn't seem to fit the context. Who is inflicting what upon whom?
I like "springing sidelocks" as well as "song and bread entwined"--in the latter, the juxtaposition of something material and something noncorporeal is a microcosm of the two overlaid scenes in the poem at large--the corporeal and the metaphysical.
This poem has excellent descriptions. You did a great job juxtaposing the two sets of images.